The Story So Far (May 26th)
ok so i'm like, 10 weeks into new job (hell yeah) and uh, i forgot to... uh... umm... i guess touch this place?
I noticed there was like 160 views on my website??? so i guess people are actually reading this place (???) umm hi people??????????? i'll pretty it up one day but Publii has zero theme support and I've been hella lazy and don't feel like sitting down and figuring out how Publii's themeing system works.
But I will say this, I found Adobe Creative Cloud on sale (yes, yes, I know, Adobe evil) and I re-subscribed to Coursera. I'm like, 100% ready to help someone with a creative branding endeavour.
...
I say this as my own fucking website (which should be a showcase of my skill) is not only unfinished but I also haven't learned the themeing system of Publii yet, so not only am I not showing off my own skill, but I'm actively not showing initiative towards bettering my own skillset.
...
anyways
I've been doing well at my job, learning a lot. Screaming at printers, oh boy, those things are... vicious tbh.
I found a Cooler Master HAF XB LAN Box PC case for like $80, i did NOT KNOW those things sold for $300+ on eBay... it was hella dusty and I broke the top fan off so I could fit my obnoxiously large Intel Arc A770 but it was so fucking worth it.
I also upgraded my PC. Went from an i3 13100 to a Ryzen 5 9600X. Note to self, don't get an i3 thinking that i9 9900k level performance is somehow still good in 2025.
Manage expectations. buy an i5 12600k instead! ideally with a DDR5 Motherboard (that is if you REFUSE to buy Core Ultra 200 Desktop CPUs and you still need an Intel CPU)
I also overspent on a CRT and bought it for $140. Yes I got scammed. But I live in fucking New Orleans so like did i really get scammed? Yes. I don't care. I bought it. It's cute. I can use my PowerMac G4 Quicksilver now. Moving on.
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A few weeks ago (like 3???) on a Friday, I mustered up the courage to go to Phoenix Bar to meet a friend and volunteer for our city's Pridefest. I was so fucking nervous. But damn, I'm actually glad I did it. My mom was like "REEEEEEEEE FRENCH QUARTER" but i'll be honest I couldn't give a fuck, I had to live for myself, not for her, not for "b-b-b-but the danger!!!", but me... literally me...
I modeled a t-shirt and a tank that said "be the light" and omg it's so iconic and cvnty i love it, i got to keep the tank, i hope i can volunteer in the future, if my supervisor doesn't let me i think i might just turn into a muffin and hope to get consumed by the cosmos itself.
i also met an old irl moot, i was like "oh my god i thought you fucking died" no turns out that the last time i talked to him, some of people that we used to fw actually turned into extremely hateful people and that's kinda terrifying to know but you know what, that's uh... unsurprising, esp where they come from (rural Louisiana) and the type of content + pipelines they probably fell down since 2022...
"why did so many of your old friends turn into hateful ppl???" trust me the fact that more than zero turned horrible made me kinda re-think the type of company i kept, and currently keep. Thankfully my current friend(s) I have are awesome and definitely not hateful people... I hope.
anyways after I volunteered that one friday, every subsequent friday i've been back at that same bar and meeting up with my friend. I went back to meet up with my friend + old moot, I went to Oz and met more local queer people... and found out a LOAD of men aren't on the apps (which is reasonable), and then this prior week I went to Phoenix to see Daddy Mark compete at IML, then I participated in The Dating Game™️ and fucking lost so... write that down.
Note to self, don't say it takes 8 dates before you show a man your cookie, just... take off your fucking pants and be a fucking ragdoll. Oddly enough I had enough mental fortitude to not freeze up on stage. I was like "yeah im a lil cumdump what's up" and everyone loved the other men more than me but it's whatever i rly don't give a fuck, i think me making an ass of myself will probably help my confidence in doing stupid shit in public. If only I could muster up the courage to talk to a random guy. Like "hey let's be friends!" idk i'm too much of a self-concious gay. I might be 24, yet internally I'm still the same scared 14 year old freshly outed queer kid. there was a silver lining to me being on that stage though, the guy to the left of me complimented my curls, and then i went into the gay bondage store (idk the real name of it) and a really nice gentleman fixed my Grindr.
I seem to be "wearing it well", I guess the other guy has to decide what I wear well...?
Anyways.
I was supposed to go to gay rugby practice today (and the prior 2 Mondays) but I'll be honest, the past few mondays have been awful.
First Monday (like 2 weeks ago), My grandma kept us up.
Second Monday (last week), i was lazy, legitimately forgot. Not even exaggerating. I was just tired. This was also the same day my boss changed the schedule. (i was prev 9-5:30, now i'm 8-4:30)
Today?
Not kidding.
Not even fucking with you when I say this.
Not only was I tired (had to work on Sunday) but my grandma also started to malfunction and break the blinds by violently grabbing them bc why not. After I told her not to do it, she started crying and I somehow hurt her feelings. I love my grandma, but her dementia makes her do the weirdest shit.
But I was mostly tired AND it was the last practice. I might as well just meet the gay rugby crew at Phoenix or whatever. I'll just use the summer to train up myself (physically and mentally) so when next season starts, I'll impress them with satisfactory physical prowress for a 24 year old that goes to the gym (HOPEFULLY I GET A GYM MEMBERSHIP BC FUCK)
I wanna write more, but my brain is just dumping info into a document. If you want something more developed/well thought out, I will actually be planning on doing that one day. Sooner than you think even!